Don’t Be the Next Victim: Staying Safe From Sexual Violence at College

Four years ago I published an article in we-ha.com called Sexual Assault and the Red Zone that centered on the issue of sexual assault on college campuses with particular focus on freshmen women. (https://we-ha.com/college-bound-sexual-assault-and-the-red-zone/). The alleged gang rape by fraternity members at Chi Phi fraternity at Cornell University in 2024 makes that article more relevant now than ever and, clearly, not for freshmen or women only. It was my hope in 2022 that with the attention placed on issues of sexual assault at institutions of higher education by the Obama administration, by the requirement that colleges and universities provide training to incoming freshmen on staying safe and preventing sexual assaults, and the #MeToo movement, that episodes such as that described by Jane Doe at Cornell would be a thing of the past. Obviously not. Much of my original article—edited to bring it up to date—appears below. This new version also contains some editorializing that I hope our college students and soon-to-be college students take seriously. I believe we can all learn something that will help our students avoid and prevent sexual assault.

The “red zone” is the period from mid-August to Thanksgiving break in November—approximately 15 weeks—when students new to college are most vulnerable to sexual assault. Around 50% of incidents of sexual assault occur during this time. According to Texas A&M University, “Freshmen, especially females, are particularly vulnerable during this time as they navigate an unfamiliar campus, parties and the college social scene for the first time” (https://stepinstandup.tamu.edu/red-zone.html).

I know that many of you reading this have just sent your children—generally considered young adults once they reach 18 years of age but in many ways are still very much children—off to college. And although you have taught them well, and recently increased the number of discussions of serious issues they might face as a new college student, it’s hard not to recollect our own college experiences and think, “I hope he/she/they doesn’t do the things I did when I was a college student.” As we all know, the college environment throws a lot at new students all at once. Students want to make friends and have new experiences. Some want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Some want to go to parties. Some want to try alcohol or drugs. Some want to have sex for the first time. Whew! And when we are new, and excited about being away from home, and there is pressure to fit in, it’s sometimes hard to remember all those lessons about being responsible.

On April 4, 2011, the Obama administration sent all colleges and universities that receive federal funding what they call a “Dear Colleague Letter.” The purpose of the letter was to provide colleges and universities with new and strengthened guidance on how to handle complaints of student-on-student sexual assault, whether on campus or off campus. One of the requirements expressed in the letter was that colleges have a Title IX¹ officer—the person whose job it is to provide education about sexual violence, lead campus-wide prevention efforts, and adjudicate charges of sexual assault for the college. As you may also know, the first Trump administration rescinded many of the Obama administration’s rules and set forth new regulations which were developed under then Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. Some view these regs as rolling back the protections of the Obama rules while others believe they provide a layer of fairness to the accused student—a debate I am not going to get into at the moment.

My primary interest in sexual assault at college is with its prevention—the advice/instruction/training we provide students about being safe at parties and in other situations, and the techniques students can use to stay safe. Related to this is my interest in developing in our students a healthier notion of personal responsibility. While this may sound like victim-blaming, it is an attempt to help students consider the possible outcomes of their actions so they can make better choices for how to act, how much to drink, where to go alone, where to go with a group, etc. Last, I am interested in helping our students have a larger vocabulary in talking to each other about how far they want to go sexually with another person and to have the confidence to be able to articulate those thoughts clearly.

Under Title IX as well as the Clery Act², all federally funded colleges and universities are required to provide on-campus training to all students on issues of sexual harassment and assault. Students who have just started college have most likely already participated in training sessions that, in part, dispense some of the recommendations below.

The guidance provided here is from the Office on Women’s Health (https//www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/sexual-assault-and-rape/college-sexual-assault) which is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Although sexual assault is not an issue for women only, they are the most vulnerable group of students.

•        Get to know someone well before spending time alone with him or her. College is often about meeting new people and making new friends. But do not rely only on someone you just met to keep you safe.

•        Go to parties or hangouts with friends. Arrive together, check in with each other, and leave together. Talk about your plans for the evening so that everyone knows what to expect.

•        Meet first dates or new people in a public place.

•        Listen to your instincts or “gut feelings.” Most women who are sexually assaulted know the person who assaults them. If you find yourself alone with someone you don’t trust, leave. If you feel uncomfortable in any situation for any reason, leave. You are the only person who gets to say whether you feel safe.

•        Be aware of your alcohol or drug intake. Research shows that about half of sexual assault victims had been drinking when the attack happened. Drinking alcohol does not make the attack your fault, but using alcohol and drugs can lead to being unaware of what is happening around you or to you.

•        Keep control of your own drink, because someone could put drugs or alcohol in it without you knowing.

•        Get help right away if you feel drunk and haven’t drunk any alcohol or if the effects of alcohol feel stronger than usual. This can happen if someone put a date rape drug into your drink. Date rape drugs have no smell or taste and can cause you to pass out and not remember what happened.

•        Be aware of your surroundings. Especially if walking alone, avoid talking on your phone or listening to music with headphones. Know where you are as you move around the campus. At night, stay in lighted areas, or ask a friend or campus security to go with you.

•        Know your resources. You need to know where you can get help if you need it. Know where the campus sexual assault center, the campus police, and the campus health center are. Find the campus emergency phones and put the campus security number into your cellphone.

•        Have a plan to get home. If you are going to use a ride sharing app, make sure your phone is charged. Consider keeping a credit card or cash as a backup for a taxi³.

The training provided at most colleges goes well beyond these tips. The key for college students is to take the training seriously but, unfortunately, many students don’t. Many students think they are already wise to these issues and, therefore, it won’t happen to them. And, sitting in a room at a computer and taking an online training workshop on sexual assault, or watching a skit, or listening to a panel discussion is not what most students want to be doing when they arrive at college. But the training is helpful and it fulfills a purpose that is more than simply meeting federal requirements. If you are a student reading this, please take these training programs seriously. And if you are a parent, please urge your students to get the most out of such training.

One of the challenges of sexual assault prevention is teaching young people to speak to any potential sexual partner about what they want and don’t want. It is difficult for many young people—young people who may have been drinking, whose brains are not fully formed, who may not be practiced at communicating clearly, and who want to be perceived as being fun, to clearly communicate their wishes to others. But it is important for young people to be clear and unambiguous about their choices and limits and to express these thoughts with conviction.

There are a couple of things I want to make very very clear. Ultimately, if someone is sexually assaulted it is not that person’s fault. It does not matter if they were provocatively dressed, had too much to drink, had previously agreed to sex with a particular partner, or were walking alone at night. The act of assault is a crime and it is the perpetrator who is to blame. But we all must take responsibility to get to know who we are with, to be careful about how much we drink or what/how much drugs we take, to be aware of our surroundings, and to ask permission and receive clear consent for any sexual advance.

Let’s talk further about consent. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (https://www.nsvrc.org/) says this about consent:

Consent is an enthusiastic, clearly communicated, and ongoing “yes.” You can’t rely on past sexual interactions and should never assume consent. The absence of “no” is not a “yes.” When sex is consensual, it means everyone involved has agreed to what they are doing and has given their permission. Nonconsensual sex is rape. . . . A person who is impaired by drugs or alcohol cannot give consent. People who commit sexual assault often use alcohol and drugs strategically to exploit a victim’s vulnerability, lower their own inhibitions about doing something they know is wrong, and ensure others excuse their actions, as they count on the rest of us to not take it seriously (https://www.nsvrc.org/what-do-you-need-know-about-sexual-assault-college-campuses/).

Let me repeat: if a person is impaired by drugs or alcohol, they cannot give consent. If they are not impaired, you must still be aware of the vibes the other person is giving off. Was “yes” spoken with enthusiasm and a smile? Or was it more like a weak cup of coffee and a soggy graham cracker?

Fifty-two years have passed since I was last at a college party and while some things have changed—the types of drugs available, the consumption of more hard liquor—I believe that many things have stayed the same. Most frat parties are large, noisy, and crowded. The floors are sticky from spilled beer. People get shoved and shuffled around. It is sometimes difficult to stay close to your friends at all times. And, without suggesting that you or your friends aren’t good people, you will all be entering conversations with others or will push through the crowd and cross the room because you see an attractive person whom you would like to meet. Your friends will not always be focused on you or be near enough to suggest you refrain from downing another drink. And you may not always be available to do the same for your friends. You must be prepared to do this for yourself and by yourself. And while it is nice for several friends to say they will leave the party together, when it’s late and alcohol is involved, and one or more of your friends just met the absolute cutest guy or gal, it doesn’t always work out that way. You need to be prepared for this possibility. Give some thought to a plan for getting home that does not involve your friends—just in case.

Don’t be afraid to attach yourself to another group if you lose track of the friends you arrived with. If you are ready to leave a party and you can’t find your friends, hang by the door and wait until you see some people leaving. Ask if you can walk with them. There truly is greater safety in numbers. And make sure your phone is charged and with you at all times.

You also need to be prepared to take care of those you don’t know. Just because you didn’t arrive with someone or don’t know someone doesn’t mean you can’t intervene if you see someone in trouble. All students can learn to be good bystanders, and intervene to prevent an assault that might be imminent, caution someone not to take that next drink, or suggest someone not walk home alone.

As I hope I have made clear, sexual assault is a very complex and complicated issue. There is really nothing clear about it except that it is awful and it should never occur. However, I think there are many things we can all do to mitigate the chances of being sexually assaulted or of perpetrating sexual violence against another person. I hope our students who are in college and those who come up behind will treat this issue with the seriousness it requires.

¹Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 is a Federal civil rights law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex in education programs and activities.  It is enforced by the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights. Title IX states that “No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.” Some key issue areas in which recipients have Title IX obligations are: recruitment, admissions, and counseling; financial assistance; athletics; sex-based harassment, which encompasses sexual assault and other forms of sexual violence; treatment of pregnant and parenting students; treatment of LGBTQI+ students; discipline; single-sex education; and employment. (https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/tix_dis.html). Additionally,

Every school must have and distribute a policy against sex discrimination. Every school must have a Title IX coordinator. Every school must have and make known procedures for students to file complaints of sex discrimination. (https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/title-ix-rights-201104.html)

² In 1986, Jeanne Clery was raped and murdered in her residence hall room on the campus of Lehigh University. The Jeanne Clery Disclosure of Campus Security Policy and Crime Statistics Act (Clery Act) was passed in 1990 and requires colleges and universities to disclose crime statistics on an annual basis. The Campus Sexual Assault Victim’s Bill of Rights, which is a component of the Clery Act, requires institutions of higher education to report on its educational programming, disciplinary processes, the victims rights when reporting sexual violence. The Campus SaVE Act of 2013 broadened the requirements of Clery by requiring colleges to address all incidents of sexual violence including dating violence, sexual assault, domestic violence, and stalking.

³ I am not going to tell you not to use ride sharing services but care should be taken when using ride-sharing apps like Uber and Lyft. According to the New York Times, “. . . Uber received a report of sexual assault or sexual misconduct in the United States almost every eight minutes on average between 2017 and 2022 — far more than what the company has publicly disclosed. Uber executives have long been aware of the extensiveness of sexual violence, The Times found, yet they repeatedly prioritized expanding their business over introducing stronger protections” (https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/21/business/uber-scrutiny-sexual-assault.html.)